The Lord gives me so much grace! ...more than I ever deserve! EVER.EVER.EVER!
Yesterday morning I remembered that I needed to pick up a gift for a teacher at my son's preschool to take to their November meeting. I opened my email to find the date I committed to only to learn that it was November 6th and this date was November 12th. If you know me well then you know my feeling guilty skyrocketed immediately and the tears were being forced to stay back.
As I tried to round Jacob up to head to the school for drop off he tested me on every level. I begged him to just give me a break this once (knowing I couldn't take much more before cracking). With the tv remote in his hand, shoes off, and tears in his eyes I carried him to the car and strapped him in. Ah, both kids strapped in place now I can breath for a minute before I venture out. (You know that moment!) I jump in and send a quick note to the parent committee leader confessing my lack or responsibility, apologizing, and assuring her I would have a gift this afternoon to the teacher and tell her of my mistake all the while wanting to add that my husband had been traveling like crazy for work, that my son is at the peak of his terrible threes (hopefully), that my daughter didn't sleep last night, and my coffee cup was still half full on my bathroom sink! To my better judgement I left out all excuses and merely left it at that.
All the way to school I wondered if I would have to carry two babies to the door to get Jake in today or if he would fly in like a superhero. I am never sure which personality I will get. Once he was settled in Emma and I ran straight out to get a gift. At a red light I pulled out my phone to see if the committee leader had responded. She had with none other than grace and kindness. Oh how that kindness took a load off my shoulders.
I took the gift to the teacher this morning and near tears apologized for having missed the date only to learn that she had not made the meeting due to another obligation. (Now, if you have a once a month meeting, tell me, wouldn't you try your hardest to make it to the one celebrating you? You know you would!) This means that she wasn't there, didn't miss the gift, and the other teachers didn't look at each other like "who was supposed to bring the present?" I blurted out, "Oh my goodness God is so amazing how He works." I think she knew I was guilt ridden in that moment. I smiled and left.
The grace of God is on me! I get to my car and the tears well up as I think about how difficult it has been to show Jacob grace over the last several days. How the first difficult action he throws at me in the day is still lingering with me at the end. Yet, God had given me grace for my lack of responsibility before I even knew it!
I went home and picked up my Bible. I looked in the back for the word grace. I wanted to find something to hold onto while I continue these days in the midst of terrible threes. Here is what happened...
At the back of my Bible beside "grace" are four page numbers listed. I randomly chose one...page 706. My Bible has little helpful side stories in them with suggested verses to read after the story. On page 706 there was one about a grandma. I thought that was weird so I chose a suggested verse under that story instead of reading it. I chose Psalm 127:3. Psalm 127:3 reads this...
"Sons are a heritage from the Lord,
Children a reward from him."
I went back to look at grace again and noticed that the page 706 that I went to wasn't under grace. It was under the next word, "grandparents". No wonder it took me to a story about grandparents. Isn't it funny how that MISTAKE led me to an answer that I needed? Without my birthday present mistake I wouldn't have received that grace from the committee leader, without that grace I wouldn't have opened my Bible today, without the mistake of looking under grandparents I wouldn't have read this psalm and without that psalm I may have just continued my day easily button pushed by that little reward of mine called Jacob!
